"Hi, I was wondering if you might help me out."
"Certainly. We're always ready to help parents."
"Thanx. Well, it seems my daughter lost her virginity at school today..."
"Oh, dear!"
"Yeah, anyway, I was wondering if somebody might have dropped it off here in the office."
"I don't know. Let's take a look in the lost and found basket. What color was it?"
"Auburn."
"Hmmm, auburn...auburn...is this is?"
"No, that's more of a reddish brown."
"I see. Would your daughter recognize it if she saw it?"
"Possibly, but if you don't have anything in that color..."
"Sorry, no. Some ash blondes and one jet black, but no auburns."
"Okay, well, I'll have her check later in the week."
"Good idea. Maybe somebody will turn it in by then.
One thing, though: Make sure your daughter doesn't take somebody else's virginity home by mistake."