Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog Little sister brought her new boyfriend He was a Mexican We didn't know what to think of him until he sang Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad
Brother Ken brought his kids with him The three from his first wife Lynn And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell Of course he brought his new wife Kay Who talks all about AA Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel The First Noel
Carve the Turkey Turn the ball game on It's margaritas when the eggnog's gone Send somebody to the Quickpak Store We need some ice and an extension chord A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites A box of Tampons, Marlboro Lights Halellujah everybody say cheese Merry Christmas from the family
Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen I can't remember how I'm kin to them But when they tried to plug their motor home in They blew our Christmas lights Cousin David knew just what went wrong So we all waited out on our front lawn He threw the breaker and the lights came on And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night
Carve the turkey turn the ball game on Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one! Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go We need some celery and a can of fake snow A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites A box of Tampons, some Salem Lights Halellujah, everybody say cheese Merry Christmas from the Family
Why do I love this song?
Listen to it, it has all the elements of an epic dysfunctional Christmas...
...but it doesn't happen.
Doesn't even come close.
Because it's Christmas. And we're family. And at Christmas the family gets together and puts all their differences aside for the day and nobody blames anybody else for anything and we all just do what needs to be done so we can enjoy the love and peace of the holiday 'cuz that's what families do!
May your holidays be merry & bright & filled with love & joy.