Betty Cooper, Betty Cooper

Try as I might, I seem incapable of disengaging with the Archieverse. 

Methinks this is because me widdle bwain remains incessantly puzzled by the lack of internal consistency in the various series, not just from decade to decade or even year to year but often in the same issue.

For most of the characters I recognize they are not true characters but rather archetypes.  They can play protagonists or antagonists, heroes or victims, savants or fools.

The Archieverse is chockablock with them chasing after whatever fad goes flitting by:  Spies, superheroes, cave dwellers, zombies, vampires, you name it.

But I developed a head canon for one character that makes sense of her:  Betty Cooper suffers from severe manic / depression as well as delusions bordering on schizophrenia.  When she takes her meds she’s the sweet, wholesome girl next door pining away for Archie Andrews.

When she’s off her meds -- watch out!

Her archrival / BFF Veronica Lodge* can be mean, sneaky, self-involved, and manipulative, but at least she inhabits the real world.**

Betty is just plain bonkers.

If she’s not loaded up with enough lithium to knock an elephant off its feet, she’s capable of the most outrageous, over the top behavior.

We’ve already discussed how she disguised herself as a male to sexually assault other female Riverdale students, her two attempts on Archie’s life that came close enough to put him in the hospital, not to mention the numerous times she’s tied him up to have her way with him.

The gal ain’t right.

And frankly, that’s what makes her so endearing…as a character.***

Goody-Two-Shoes Betty, sweet girl-next-door Betty, innocently pining away from unrequited love Betty is as dull as dishwater.

Sex-crazed, irresponsible, irrepressible, just gawddam fncking InSaNe Betty is the one we want.

“A dream to some…
a nightmare to others.”  

© Buzz Dixon

*  See what I mean about lack of internal consistency?

** At least as real as the Archieverse gets.

*** In real life half the town would have a restraining order against her.