May The Crime Fit The Punishment [FICTOID]

The bell on the door rang softly as the cruise tourist couple came in.  They looked around the store approvingly, noting the high shelves crowded with books.  Mr. Chippers, the proprietor, smiled at them. 

“Is this a mystery bookstore?” the female tourist asked.  She and her husband wore matching Hawaiian shirts.  

“We saw your sign ‘Crime And Punishment’,” said her husband.  Their sandals matched, though their socks and shorts didn't. 

“Yes, you could call this a crime bookstore,” said Mr. Chippers.  “The finest in Kingston.”

“Oh, good,” said the female tourist.  “I'd love to get something to read on the boat at night.”

“Ship,” her husband corrected softly but she didn't hear. 

The couple spent a moment looking at the books on the shelves then turned to Mr. Chippers with matching frowns.  “These are all by Dostoevsky,” the husband said. 

“That's right,” said Mr. Chippers.  “That's why I called the store ‘Crime And Punishment’.”

The tourist couple looked at each other then back at Mr. Chippers.  “You don't carry any other books?” the wife asked. 

“No, why should I?  That would defeat the name of the store, wouldn't it?”

“Well, it would broaden you up,” said the husband,  “give you more books to sell.”

“I already have lots of books to sell,” said Mr. Chippers, gesturing to the packed shelves around him.  

“Yes, but they're all Crime And Punishment.  Don't you want to expand your customer base?”

“No, this is a specialty bookstore,” said Mr. Chippers.  “Nothing here except ///Crime And Punishment///.  We have additions in French, English, Spanish, Chinese, Italian, Esperanto, and Russian of course.  We have hardcover, illustrated, paperback, and even Braille editions.” 

The tourist couple exchanged glances again.  “Well, I suppose I could pick up a paperback edition,” said the wife.  She flipped the book over to look at the price sticker on the back and blanched in horror.  “This can't be right!” she said. 

“What can't be right, ma'am?”

“This price, one million dollars!”

“That's the correct price, ma'am.”

“One million for a paperback?  A ///used/// paperback?”

“Yes, ma'am, all of our editions are priced at one million dollars.”

The couple exchanged glances for a third time then the wife gingerly returned the paperback to its shelf.  “Do you sell many books at one million each?” the husband asked.

“No,” said Mr. Chippers, “but that's the beauty of my business plan:  I only have to sell one.”

© Buzz Dixon