Beware Of Witches Bearing The Meaning Of Life [FICTOID]

“Here,” said the old Latvian witch, thrusting a DVD at me.

I took it cautiously.  You can never be too careful accepting or rejecting gifts from witches.  Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes they’re testing you to see if you’re foolish enough to accept something from them, sometimes they’re insulted if you reject their offering.

“Thanks,” I said.  “What is it?”

“It’s a DVD,” she said.

I measured my response just as carefully; I hadn’t drunk my morning coffee yet and didn’t want to get turned into a toad.  “I recognize it’s a DVD by the case.  The thing is, you removed the cover insert so I don’t know what it is.”

“It’s a precious gift,” she said, “given to me that I now pass on to you.  It’s The Meaning Of Life.”

“No offence, but why not label it as such?”

“I remove the covers to all my media,” said the witch.  “That way I’m surprised by whatever I chose to play.” She looked askance at me.  “You think that’s peculiar?”

“No,” I said.  “It’s not the sort of thing I would do but I can see the logic behind it.  You do you, as they say.”

The old witch nodded and turned to go.  “One question, if I may,” I said.

“Ask.  I feel generous this morning.”

“Why me?  Why give me the meaning of life?”

“I heard you’re a Monty Python fan,” she said, “and I just upgraded to 4K.”

© Buzz Dixon