Supermarket Sweep [FICTOID]

The supermarket made a satisfying crunch as Colonel Otis Ruth ate it.

Made of sugar glass, the supermarket not only crunched satisfactorily but tasted sweet.

“Would you like to try a shopping center” the maître d’ asked.

“No, gotta watch my weight,” said Col. Ruth.  “Although I might have a small boutique to finish things off.”

“Certainly,” said the maître d’.

He hurried to get the boutique tray as Col. Ruth chomped through to the produce and dairy sections of the supermarket.

The restaurant specialized in exact scale models of buildings cast out of spun sugar glass.  Before the development of fragile clear resins, sugar glass was the go-to solution for film makers and stage productions that wanted to show someone crashing through a window or breaking a bottle over another actor’s head.  It was literally nothing but ordinary sugar melted and reformed into whatever shape he wanted.

While technically obsolete, sugar glass still enjoyed one great advantage over breakable resin props:  It was edible and sweet.

The maître d’ brought the boutique tray out just as Col. Ruth finished the supermarket’s bakery.  The restaurant paid great attention to detail in its models:  The meat section tasted of honey glazed hams, the produce of sweet potatoes and various fruits, even the liquer aisle tasted of tawny port.

The bakery was no disappointment, conveying subtle blends of cakes, cookies, and chocolate cream puffs.

As Col. Ruth wiped his mouth in a surprisingly dainty manner, the maître d’ gestured theatrically to the boutique tray.  “And what would you like to finish off your meal with, colonel?  We offer an excellent shoe store -- “

“Sounds too heavy.”

“Yes, sir, and possibly a bit tough for your tastes.  Perhaps a book store?”

“Too dry.”

“A thrift shop?”

“Don’t care for junk food.”

“Ah, I know just the thing:  A children’s shop.”

Col. Ruth’s eyes lit up.  “Yes, that sounds like just the thing.”

“Of course, sir.”  The maître d’ slid the small children’s shop onto Col. Ruth’s plate.  Inside were clothes made from cotton candy.  Col. Ruth licked his lips and popped the entire shop into his mouth, crushing it between his massive molars.

In the restaurant’s windows, hungry refugees watched the colonel dine.  Behind them, the world burned.

© Buzz Dixon