Bite Me, Big Boy [FICTOID]

“It’s not fair!” said the shark.

“Of course it’s fair,” said Allan.

“If you catch us, you can eat us,” said Betty.

“But we’re on dry land!” wailed the shark.

“I see what you did there,” Charlie said with a laugh.

“’Wail’ for ‘whale’ is a stupid pun,” said Deidre.

“My belly hurts!” said the shark.

“That’s because you’re hungry,” said Edmund.

“No, it’s because I’m crawling across gravel,” said the shark.  “Gravel and broken bits of glass and rusty metal fragments.”

“We’re not complaining,” said Francine.

“You’re wearing shoes!” said the shark.

“So put some shoes on,” said George.

“You can’t put shoes on your belly!” snapped the shark, too far away to pose a threat to the children.

“It was your idea to play this game,” said Henrietta.

“You’re the one who wanted to eat us,” said Isaac.

“I can’t breathe, not on dry land, not with gills,” said the shark.

“You didn’t need to agree when we offered to let you chase us,” said Jay.

“I’m dying…” the shark moaned, his movements growing feebler and feebler with each passing moment until at last they finally stopped.

“Hooray!  Shark fin soup for everyone!” shouted Kay.

© Buzz Dixon