Blowing Smoke [FICTOID]

“The end of the werewolf plague,” said the ancient philosopher, “came in the 16th century.”

He held a pipe in each hand.  In his left, a stained meerschaum with a gargoyle’s head filled with the finest sativas in the land; in his other left, a bright pink plastic toy soap bubble pipe.  He drew in a long, deep hit off the sativas pipe, held it a good twenty seconds to get the full effect, then exhaled through the soap bubble pipe.  Small bubbles of cannabis smoke wafted through the library, popping and sharing their bounty.

“Up until then, there was little that could be done to stop them.

“Oh, they knew silver proved a potent weapon against them, but crossbows and arrows offered only limited protection.

“Once gunpowder was introduced…“  Here the philosopher drew and expelled another long draught. “…the game changed dramatically and not in the werewolves’ favor.

“Case in point…”  Another long draught and exhale.  The library now seemed filed with little exploding marijuana planets.  “While bows and arrows or crossbows and bolts are effective in the hands of an expert, they are bulky and difficult to use in close quarters.

“Silver daggers can inflict fatal wounds on werewolves but that means the werewolf is close enough to inflict fatal wounds of their own.

“Or worse still, infectious bites that turn the victim into a werewolf.”

Here he paused for a several minutes while he reloaded and relit his meerschaum pipe.  “Many people try to keep their pipes as pristine as possible,” he said, “but frankly I find a lot of charm in a well used pipe.

“Now, let’s see, where was I?  Oh, yes, silver weapons.

“While there is a case on record of a silver handle cane being used effectively as a cudgel against a werewolf, this is an extremely rare occurrence.  Prior to the 14th century in any encounter between a werewolf and a human, the werewolf usually came out on top.

“However, all that changed with the arrival of firearms in the early 1330s.

“Granted, muskets are awkward and slow to reload but pistols…”  Once again he launched a flotilla of smoke infused bubbles across the library.  “…pistols proved a different matter.  Anyone could carry a loaded pistol on their person to shoot a werewolf.  Unlike bows or muskets, pistols work best at close range but not so close as requited by daggers.

“As a result, people began stockpiling silver bullets – really silver musket balls – for use against werewolves.”

He tapped a book by his elbow with his pink plastic pipe.  “Take this book, for instance.  It tells how a duke decorated his castle with tens of thousands pf silver pistol shots, ready to be grabbed and loaded at the first sign of lupine infestation.”

Once again he went through the ritual of filling the air with smoke bubbles.  “Small wonder the notorious European werewolf infestation faded so fast that future generations thought of it only as a myth…or a pipe dream.”

“Hey, are you in here talking to yourself again?” the janitor asked

© Buzz Dixon