Dying Of Boredom [FICTOID]

It should have been a chestnut tree but it was not. 

That was enough to pierce the young prince’s eternal ennui.

Instead, it was a perfect replica of a chestnut tree made of cannibalized discs and cartridges from the old Legend Of Zelda game.

The fact it looked exactly like a chestnut tree did not concern Prince Achmed.

Truth be told, that was of only tertiary importance.

The second most important question was “How did it get here?” with “here” being the royal gardens.

The most important question remained “What does it mean?”

I’m not paranoid, Prince Achmed thought.  The fact my uncle, my mother, and my brothers all sought to slay me is proof of that.

But why go to al the trouble of constructing an exact replica of a chestnut tree if meant only as a lark, a prank, a goof?

Now Prince Achmed would learn the truth.  He summoned his grand inquisitor, a woman of eight score years who looked barely older than he and explained his dilemma to her.

She listened silently then said, “Your bowels?  Do they explode?”

“I…don’t quite fathom your meaning,” Prince Achmed said.

“Your bowels,” the grand inquisitor said.  “Do they explode?”

Prince Achmed looked disgusted.  “No,” he said, “my bowels do not explode.”

“Pity,” said the grand inquisitor, with a shrug of disdain.

Prince Achmed’s bowels exploded in a fine misty spray of gore, vomit, and feces.

“In answer to your question of who did this, I did,” said the grand inquisitor.

“…but…why?” Prince Achmed croaked, life seeping from him.

“You bore me,” said the grand inquisitor.  “But unlike you, I can do something about it.”

© Buzz Dixon