Once upon a time I worked for a producer[1] who was doing a show about a teenage boy who could turn into a car and then the car would turn into a parking lot.[2] We had a staff writer meeting where we were all handed show bibles & told to come up with story ideas. I went back to my office, flipped through the print out, then returned to the producer.
"Okay, I'll work up some story ideas if you can explain a few things to me:
"If he turns into a car and they remove his tires, when he turns back into a boy will he be missing his hands and feet?
"If he turns into a car and they remove his engine, when he turns back into a boy will he be missing his heart?
"If he turns into a car and they put a suitcase in his trunk, when he turns back into a boy will it -- "
"I'm putting you on another show," the producer said.
So I never wrote for that show, though other staff writers did. Apparently it took a special mindset to write scripts for it.
Once I went over to the storyboard artists' lair to have lunch with the magnificently maniacal John Dorman, head of the department.
When I arrived in their building[3], I found John & the other storyboard artists sitting at their desks, glaring at one another with seething rage.
I thot: Uh-oh, I've stepped into the middle of some big tiff they're having.
For nearly a minute nobody said anything, nobody acknowledged me, nobody so much as twitched a finger tip.
Then John said: "Gosh darn [redacted writer]!" and the other artists began thumping their desks and howling, "Gosh darn him! Gosh darn him!" [4]
Seems [redacted writer] had written a script where --
the boy goes to a swimming pool
turns into a car
climbs the ladder to the high dive (!)
does a swan dive (!!)
splashes into the pool
then swims (!!!) over to his friends
who are in a rowboat (!!!!)
and climbs in with them (!!!!!)
All as a car.
This is what put John & his lads in such a blue funk.
It's easy to write stuff like that...
...but try drawing it.
Boys & girls, keep this lesson at heart whenever you write something that is going to be filmed or drawn.
[1] Hi, Joe!
[2] This was 50% of a good idea. If it had been a robot that turned into a car and/or vice-versa, he would have beaten Transformers to the air by a year or so.
[3] Appropriately, Cheech & Chong's old office, but once John's crew took it over better known as [D]astard Central.
[4] Oy, and have I ever cleaned this one up...