Fictoid: the counterfeiter

monkey jester call it the harpooner’s shack with rich delicious deliberate irony

they gather to talk and swap lies and brag about the one they are going to catch the one that got away this time but oh brother next time…

the counterfeiter comes in lays out his wares

the true hunters ignore him [though truth be told more than a few envied him]

he smiles and waves at them and a few grunt in return but most pointedly look away

their disdain is wasted the counterfeiter acts oblivious to it

in a few moments someone comes in looking for an idea

unable to go through the impenetrable barrier between the real and unreal such people come to where idea hunters gather and seek to buy what wares they offer

genuine idea hunters real idea hunters turn their noses up at those who hunt on demand

rather starve in pride than soil their souls bringing back a trophy-to-order for someone who couldn’t hunt themselves

but even those who hunt on demand are at least acknowledged as genuine members of the company

not like the counterfeiter

the customer comes in looks around

even the most proud of the idea hunters shifts ever slightly so the customer can see their wares

older more established mercenary hunters rattle their instruments clear their throats

the customer ignores them

the bright dazzle of the counterfeiter’s wares attract him

the counterfeiter isn’t particularly good at his craft

his wares bear only the faintest of resemblances to real ideas that real hunters bring back cobbled together as they were out of a myriad of properties and while colorful were all a dull mismatched motley not the shimmering iridescence of a real true genuine idea

but the customer like most customers has the taste of a pig a pig who can not tell turds from truffles

walks over to the counterfeiter’s table

“See anything you like, sir?  Anything that catches your fancy?  Oh, this one here is particularly beautiful.  My, such a job I had landing him – not that you’d want to hear anything about that, sir.  But it is fine, sir, it is good.”

“I dunno.  Could you perhaps lop off this portion in the middle and replace it with maybe a piece of that one over there.  No, not from the middle, from the end.”

“Yessir, very good, sir.  Most folks would not have your discerning eye, but you I can tell see there is no harm – no harm at all! – in putting those pieces together just the way you require.  See?  There, done lickety-split, just as nicely as you please.  Shall I wrap it up for you, sir?”

customer pays up [real hunters grunt in surprise hate the counterfeiter they might but the dirty little bastard sure knows how to get paid!] and leaves with his counterfeit idea bits and pieces breaking off and trailing behind him

the counterfeiter smiles at the real idea hunters not a smile of triumph or even a smile of contempt but more like a sad smile as if he had…well…not really an idea perhaps more of a clue as to the vast gulf between him and them a clue flavored perhaps with a bit of an appreciation for the irony of it all

“That’s the way it’s done” he says packing up his wares and hustling out the door

he doesn’t bother to offer to buy any of them a drink


© Buzz Dixon

The Church, the church, and the social club

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