Fictoid: into the unrealm

he entered into
the unrealm
the imagination
the abstract
one last time

ideas waiting for him there
flitted away noiselessly
leaving no mark on his soul
[distractions
lesser things
for lesser minds]

he knew what he wanted

seen it years ago
eons ago
an eternity ago
but had never gotten close
[was that a good thing
or a bad thing]

it hung out
...there...
somewhere

waiting to be found
waiting to be captured
broken
ridden
brought back
displayed for all to see

lesser ideas
[mere thoughts
notions
whimsies]
continued to
haunt him
taunt him
tease him

[ignore them]

only time enough
for this one last quest

this thing
…or no thing

he broadened his search

what it was
he couldn’t say
[if he could say
then he would have had it
he would be the victor]

he would only know it
when he saw it again

he had seen it
dreamed it
when he had been
a young idea hunter
hustler
eager
and hungry
to make his mark

again and again
he delved into the unreal
dragging thoughts and concepts
back screaming
to reality

they paid him well
those on the other side
of the impenetrable wall
the ones who could never land
an idea for themselves
the one who needed
special hunters like him
to go through and
find and
bring back
something
for the duller minds
to exploit

he had impressed them
bringing back one
glib
facile
idea
after another
earning a reputation
as the go-to guy for
That Sort Of Thing

he didn’t mind
he enjoyed it in fact

preening and strutting
with the other
thinkers and
philosophers

casting a condescending sneer
at the has-beens
the forgotten thinkers

sitting in the corner
drinking their bitter dregs

bemoaning the One That Got Away

he had been happy in his rep

and then
one time
while he was
wrestling
a concept
into submission --

[not a full grown concept of course
but a little one
half formed
somewhat energetic
but not really mature enough to
put up much of a fight
(not that the ones
who could never permeate
the impenetrable wall
would have ever been able
to tell the difference)]

-- he caught --
[no, wrong word! 
too decisive!  
too precise! 
too accurate!]

-- fe felt --
[no, again!  t
oo strong! 
too certain!]

-- he…sensed…somehow…The Idea

[its full
and proper title
of course would be
The Big Idea With His Name On It
and once he caught it
and subdued it
and brought it home
as a trophy
that would be
what it would be called
forever…but
he had to catch it
and subdue it
first]

he was torn
torn between
finishing the job
on the immature little idea or
turning it loose and
immediately pursuing
The Big Idea…

…and he hesitated…

…and he was lost…

for while he hesitated
the immature little idea broke away
and escaped

and when he turned
in the direction
that he believed
The Big Idea
had gone…

nothing

he returned home
empty handed
and for the first time
saw disappointment
on the faces of those
who had expected him
to bring back
an idea
alive
and
kicking

he had
nothing
for them

oh he turned his pockets out
and emptied them of any sorts of
similes and metaphors but…

who cares for that stuff?
that silly silly stuff

the people who paid him
to catch ideas
smiled and said
well no harm done
can’t win them all
better luck next time…

but the next time
was like that time...
…and the next time after that...
…and the next time after that…

and the next times
came further
and further
apart

the ones
who consumed
the glib
superficial
ideas he returned with
were not interested in
supporting him as
he pursued
The Big Idea

they found other
younger
hungrier
idea hunters
to go find
their glib and
superficial
concepts

he didn’t starve

he still
brought back
a trophy
now and then

never as big
and as bright
and as pretty
as the ones
in his hey day
but still

you should have seen the fight this one put up
look at those interlocking themes
have you ever seen a beauty like this

but it wasn’t
as bright and as lively
as the younger
hungrier
hunters’ ideas

and while he eked out a living…

…ideas came
further and
further
apart…

…and The Big Idea
continued
to tease him
taunt him

always lurking
out there
just beyond
his ability
to reach it

when he would go
to socialize
with the other
thinkers and
dreamers
he found himself
gradually
being edged
away from the main center
of activity and discussion

and off
to the fringes
where the has-beens
and broken dreamers
stayed

he didn’t want that

he needed to be in the center

he had to bring
The Big Idea in

time passed
and he became old

his mind
was no longer
as nimble
as it once was

and his body
[well forget it]
wrestling ideas
is a young person’s game

still he persisted

he found it
harder
and harder
to enter
the realm
of imagination

and his trips
were shorter
and shallower

this time
he forced himself
to go
deeper
deeper
than he had ever
dared before
[and he had dared
a lot
in his hunt for
The Big Idea]

no turning back

this time

he entered
the unrealm
and dove deep

shot past old ideas he had once flirted with
surprised at their power and proclivity
but ignoring them
not letting them
dissuade him

further and further inward

glib
and
facile
notions
faded
disappeared

now the ideas
he encountered
were older
more battle scared
more ferocious
he ignored them and
continued his descent

now the ideas
thinned out
and there was nothing left
but a murk
and a fog

he lost his way

which direction
was he going?
up? 
down? 
in?

something…moved…in the distance

this time
he felt it
more than
sensed it

excited
invigorated
he plunged
after it

The Big Idea
took off
running
dodging
dashing
staying
just out of view
just out of eye sight
just out of heart felt

he couldn’t let it go
he couldn’t retreat
he couldn’t return

he followed it down
down down
deeper
deeper
deeper
inward
inward
inward

until at last
it stopped

and turned on him
what do you want

What do I want? 
What do I want? 
What do you want? 
You’re the one who
stopped and
let me catch you!

that is so

silence
then he said:
Show yourself.

The Big Idea
revealed
its true form

for all this time
he regarded it
as a great white whale

[not literally
of course
symbolically
an allusion
to one
of the very best
Big Ideas
that had ever been
brought back
through the wall]

but now
in its true form
he saw it to be
a spider
gigantic
effervescent
shimmering
neon
black widow spider
the size of mount everest
the size of an asteroid
bigger than his imagination
higher than his ambitions
deeper than his darkest fears

sitting there
regarding him coolly
with no small degree of amusement

well now little man…
what is your plan…
how do you plan
to bring me back

he started to speak
…but couldn’t
he gestured weakly
impotently

The Big Idea rippled
it took a moment for him
to recognize it was
the equivalent
of a laugh

aren’t you the lucky one then…
good thing you never caught me…
never would have known
what to do with me
if you had

he realized
it was too late
to turn back
too late
to return
to the safe
cold confines
of the real
the concrete

Then why
did you let me
pursue you? 
Why did you
tease me and
drag me on?

to see
if you
were worthy…
had you been worthy
[again a ripple]
i would have come
willingly

another
impotent
gesture
on his part:
What now?

now
you
come
with
me

oh do not feign surprise…
you come from the realm
of the concrete
and the real
into here…
the unreal…
did it never occur to you
that we come
from somewhere else…
from some other realm
that even you…
you who have visited
and hunted in this place…
could not begin
to fathom

Why do you come?

why do you think
to return
with a trophy

© by Buzz Dixon

(updated August 11, 2018)