Fictoid:  Blue Night

Fictoid: Blue Night

monsieur?

oui?

I must ask you to leave

the guests the other diners

what about them?

you disturb them

you think I
am not disturbed
by them?

monsieur, do not make this
more difficult, si vous plait

non
now I am determined
to make this more difficult
much more difficult

eh!  clown!  go!
you are not wanted here!

I am not wanted anywhere

see?  take your friends and go

these are not,
as you say,
my “friends”

we don’t care who they are!
take them and go to the devil

[chuckle]

you mock me, clown?

I mock your ignorance
“go to the devil”
indeed

I have half a mind –

half a mind?
that is more
than I gave you
credit for
far more

that is enough!
begone with you!

…or what, monsieur…?
what threat do you hold
in your pocket?
what can you
possibly say to me
that will make me
quiver in my boots?

I shall call the police –

-- and tell them what?
that you felt threatened by a clown?
that a man wearing white greasepaint
terrifies you
darkens your soul?
that at night you fear
that you will go to your apartment
and as you cross the courtyard
you will see a glimpse of
...something...
and your mouth will go dry
and you won’t be able to swallow
and you will want to retreat
to your pathetic little room
but like a rat
drawn to a boa constrictor
you will step closer
and closer
and closer still
to see what it is
and then
you will see
me
a clown
in the moonlight

…you…are…are you
threatening me, monsieur?

obviously
or else you
would not chose
to make such a spectacle
of yourself

I? a spectacle?!?!?
you are the spectacle!

oui

what will you do now, monsieur
now that I no longer disagree with you?

monsieur, si vous plait
do not let this go on
your drinks…your friends’ drinks
they are all on the house
go, si vous plait

well, monsieur
shall you see me go?
or do you wish me to stay?

by your silence I presume you wish me to go
very well come, my companions
there are other bistros that will welcome our patronage
oh, and monsieur,
I see that you have a very fine goatee
do you shave yourself
or do you visit the barber?
I ask, because I would like to know
if I need to bring
my own razor

 

 

© Buzz Dixon

 

(updated August 11, 2018)

"Don't Think!" by Ray Bradbury

The Best 2-Panel Horror Comic EVER