So What Does Jesus Have To Say About Sex?

...cuz nuthin' sez "Christian Sexual Ethics" better than little people porn on a shot glass...

Well, let's start with the point he considered most important:  Asexuals are lucky that their ability to love God and to love their fellow human beings selflessly and compassionately is not hindered or distracted by sexual urges or a need for romantic love.

If you weren't born asexual,  try to cultivate that lifestyle.[1]

If you can't, get married so you'll have a loving companion with whom you can mutually satisfy your needs and urges.

When you get married, stay married.  The only legitimate reason to end a marriage is if one's spouse betrays one (though forgiving at least enough to continue the marriage is always an option).

Otherwise, only death will release you. No widow or widower is obligated to remain unmarried.

The betrayal of a spouse (adultery) is a big deal and not to be regarded lightly. Mucking around with another person’s spouse (ditto adultery) is just as big a deal and not to be regarded lightly.

In fact, if you are married and look at another person and wonder how you can get them in the sack, or if you look at another person’s spouse and wonder how you can get them in the sack, you are committing adultery for all intents and purposes.[2]

That being said, it is not an automatic exclusion from the kingdom of God.  Jesus famously took a frequently divorced woman living with her boy friend and used her to successfully spread the gospel just the way she was, without requiring any atonement on her part first.

Jesus was compassionate and forgiving to persons with spotty personal histories.  He urged us not to judge lest we get clobbered by the same judgment we dish out, and to love one another as we love ourselves.

Oh, and don’t harm kids, which while ambiguous certainly includes a prohibition against pedophilia and statutory rape.

There, that pretty much covers it…

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[1]  Meaning Jesus recognized some people are indeed “born that way” whatever “that way” may be.

[2]  Jesus seems to think that doing a good thing for any reason is ultimately a good thing, but not doing a bad thing simply because the opportunity hasn’t presented itself yet is still a bad thing.