We think of “gentle Jesus, meek and mild” not having a mean streak in His body, but in the middle of one of His most profound and spiritual utterances He buried a booby trap far worse than a rusty bear trap.
“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”[1]
Lemme rephrase that for ya:
“Forgive us the way we forgive other people.”
Or:
“Treat us the way we treat others.”
Holy shamolley! Talk about being handed a snake that’s gonna whip around and bite you on your tuchis!
Jesus is telling us to ask God to treat us no differently from the way we treat other people!!!
“And treat me with the same open contempt, condescension, judgmentalism, intolerance, and smug self-congratulatory bigotry that I dish out to those imbeciles I have to deal with.”
Yowza! Brings a whole new meaning to that phrase, doesn’t it? All of a sudden it’s no longer some meaningless piety we mouth by rote but a fncking express ticket to the bowels of hell!
Are you sure you wanna pray that prayer? Are you sure you wanna ask God to treat you the way you treat everybody else?[2]
And you’re not even allowed off the hook if you just think about it but don’t do anything:
“Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
So it looks like you might as well go ahead & drag hang those people you hold a grudge against over a mile and a half of broken coke bottles. You're going to Hell anyway.
Unless, of course, you're willing to do something really radical... ...like forgive them... .
.
.
[1] Other translations use “debts” or “transgressions” in place of “sin”
[2] You don’t suppose that maybe, just maybe when Christ said: “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again” that He like actually, y’know, meant it?