...I stood in line behind a customer carrying on a long and highly detailed conversation with the checker. Topic: Walking around barefoot in a house where the dogs had diarrhea. The checker and customer were quite graphic and extremely explicit in comparing notes on the matter.
When it was my turn to pay for my purchase, the bagger yawned. The checker glared at him and said:
"Stop yawning! You make me feel like yawning." (to me) "Every time my dogs yawn, I feel like yawning, too."
Me: "I'd hate to be in your house when they crap on the carpet."