If The Answer Isn't "Yes", Then It's "No"

I'm sitting on the sidelines watching two people who share a long time friendship strain that relationship to the breaking point.  Details changed to protect the guilty. One we'll call Sam asked the other (whom we'll call Pat) if they wanted to get involved in a deal a while back.

Pat didn't, but Pat also didn't want to hurt Sam's feelings so instead of saying no said, "Let me think about it after the holidays."

Sam chose to interpret that as "Yes!" and planned accordingly.

You see where this is going...

animated bridge collapse

Sam called Pat and asked about closing the deal.  Pat hemmed and hawed then finally said they weren't interested.

Sam grew irritated.  Said some harsh things.  Accused Pat of double crossing them.

If the answer isn't "yes", then it's "no."

And it isn't a yes unless there's a piece of paper with at least two signatures and a date on it and/or a check that has cleared the bank.

I say this for everyone but especially for those folks trying to break into show biz / publishing / video games.

"Maybe" / "we'll see" / "we're looking into it" / "perhaps" / "it's under consideration" / "they love it" / "it's a done deal" / "as soon as the last element falls in place" all mean "no"

They're nice "no"s Polite "no"s Soft "no"s But they're still "no"

If they haven't said "yes" and whipped out a check book to prove it, they mean "no".

Don't delude yourself Don't lie to yourself Don't get your feelings hurt

Roll with it and move on.


Thomas Mann Spills The Beans

Roy Doty (1922 - 2015)