"The Greatest Dracula Story Ever Written" by Murray Langston

Two nuns, Sister Helen and Sister Mary, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania when suddenly, a tiny Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Oh my!" shouts Sister Mary. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Mary switches them on, knocking Dracula about but he clings on and continues hissing at them.

"What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water," says Sister Helen.

Sister Mary turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin but clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"What now?" shouts Sister Mary.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Mary as she opens the window and shouts, "Get the @#%& off the car!"

tip o'the paper bag to Murray "The Unknown Comic" Langston for this little gem underlying art by Tony Masero