The Right To Be King [FICTOID]

The nice thing about being the king ids hat you can do any damn fool thing you want and nobody can say bupkis about it.

Take the case of King Leopold the 33 1/3rd and the fabulous marijuana waterfall.  While an undergraduate at a prestigious university (in reality a day care center for ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray scions of nobility), he heard of the fabulous marijuana waterfall in Kauai from a friend of a friend of a friend of a passing acquaintance of a total stranger who originally heard it from a burned out 80-year old brain dead hippie with no teeth living in an old refrigerator packing carton in a homeless encampment south of Portland.

“It’s like…wow, man.  There’s this like waterfall, y’dig, and it comes from a stream that flows through a patch of the most potent natural hemp plants imaginable, man, and it like infuses the water, man, and you can get high just drinking it.”

When his father died in a tragic helicopter polo accident (the judges awarded his time the game in honor of the late monarch’s supreme sacrifice to sportsmanship), Leopold the 33 1/3rd the affairs of state too weighty for his lightweight (some say weightless) mind.

“I must go on a quest,” he proclaimed one day and in a matter of hours his staff ordered the necessary equipment and booked passage to Kauai.

There followed a week of aimlessly wandering around the island’s backwaters.  A more keen-eyed observer than King Leopold the 33 1/3rd might have noticed his native guides kept leading him in circles (actually figure 8s so their subterfuge wouldn’t be too obvious) before finally “discovering” the fabled marijuana waterfall.

“There it is,” said the guides.  “Taste it.”

Taste it he did, and King Leopold the 33 1/3rd proclaimed it good, if not god.  It hit him like a Mack truck made of feathers and the blissful high that ensued gave him a great feeling of peace.

Meanwhile, courtiers made sure a never ending supply of synthetic THC got dumped into the water source upstream, keeping King Leopold the 33 1/3rd blissfully occupied for the rest of his reign, much to the relief of said courtiers who handled the routine day-to-day business of actually running the country.

© Buzz Dixon