Si Quæris Peninsulam Amœnam Circumspice [FICTOID]

During the winter solstice all the pyramids in Michigan start walking around.

There were a surprising large number of them, most simple wood frames with canvas or drywall covering them, a few made of metal, but also six traditionally constructed from stacked stone, the tallest being twenty-four feet tall.

Only pyramids in the Lower Peninsula appeared affected by this sudden ambulatory endowment.

No reports of walking pyramids in the Upper Peninsula, or from the states bordering Michigan:  Wisconsin, Indiana, Ohio.

Whether submerged pyramids walked the floors of Lakes Michigan and Huron is unknown.

At first the walking pyramids alarmed the Michiganians, resulting in the National Guard being called out by the governor, but the walking pyramids presented no threat to anyone.

They obeyed traffic laws, waited for the light to turn green before crossing any streets, looked both ways before crossing any country roads.

With the ground frozen solid by Michigan’s typical brutal winter, they did no damage to farmlands or private property.

Once the initial alarm subsided, Michiganians began observing the walking pyramids with first curiosity then amusement.

Of course there were those who tried to exploit the phenomenon.  Several religious fundamentalists of varying faiths and denominations all proclaimed they pyramids were signs of God’s judgment, conservative political pundits blamed the left in general and communists in particular, various terrorist groups tried to claim credit but nobody took them seriously.

As the day wore on the stolid Michiganians became bored by it all and went home for hot cocoa and Mackinac Island Fudge.

When the sun began to set the pyramids dutifully returned to their home bases, carefully positioning themselves so they faced 180-degrees opposite their original orientation.

Why they did this remains as much of a mystery as their heretofore unanticipated ability to move though one of the more progressive religious leaders in the state said it had something to do with God showing his acceptance of transgender people.

To which most Michiganians thought, Yeah, right, whatever.

Since then none of the pyramids has moved so much as a single silly little millimeter.

Whatever their midwinter jaunt meant, the pyramids kept it to themselves.

© Buzz Dixon