All Alone In The Dark [FICTOID]

She sat all alone in the dark, the blackboard behind her crammed with intricate calculations, her computer turned off, unplugged, and smashed with a fire axe.

She found the truth she long suspected:  That the universe came into existence out of pure nothingness -- no time, no space, no matter, no energy -- when a single conscious thought came into existence in a purely abstract plain:  I AM

And from that, everything.

The universe, as humans thought they knew it, descended from this single original thought, spinning off in a never ending series of infinite multi-dimensional fractals, each one creating a brand new universe, and withing that universe hundreds of thousands of millions of billions of trillions of sentient beings, each one creating their own infinite series of fractal alternate universes every single nanosecond with every single stray thought that emerged from their consciousness.

She thought of the horrors of her universe, of Dresden and Dachau, or Nagasaki and Nuremburg.

Her conscience could not bear the thought of creating an infinite number of alternate universes where such horrors and worse would be perpetrated in perpetuity.

So she chose not to think.

To kill herself required conscious thought, and each second of that thought would create new universes.

Better to sit still, all alone in the dark, quieting her mind, seeking what the Buddhists called satori, ending all conscious thought.

The instant her calculations proved her hypothesis correct, she realized every sentient being became a god for every alternate universe they created, responsible for the pain and suffering those sentient beings and the beings that came from them would endure.

She would not have it.

She would not bear that responsibility, that guilt.

This god resigned.

© Buzz Dixon