The Word Of The King Is The Law [FICTOID]

The director of the royal museum waited patiently for the chamberlain to see him.

I regret having you wait,” the chamberlain said, “but his majesty seemed reluctant to take his afternoon nap.”

“I understand perfectly,” said the director.  “I presume you know why I’m here.”

By way of response the chamberlain went to his ornate rolltop desk, pushed the cover back, and took out six ancient computer programming books.  He handed them over to the director without a word.

“He came through a skylight this time,” said the director, holding the books tightly to her.

“We are aware.”

“I mention this only because I worry about his majesty having an accident.”

“His highness facilitated the entry with a squad of royal marines.  They had him securely in a harness.”

“I’m relieved to hear that.”  She hesitated, then cocked her head at the chamberlain.  “May I ask why his majesty goes to such elaborate lengths to obtain long out of date computer manuals?  If he is truly interested in the subject there are second hand bookstores through out the capital -- “

“And where is the fun in that?  His highness feels constrained by the limits of his office.  He likes, as his subjects…as his lower class subjects might say, to ‘cut loose’ occasionally.”

“I thought his majesty had stables and yachts and helicopters at his disposal.”

“Indeed he does, but those are nowhere near as exciting to him as putting on a black domino mask and pretending he is a master criminal, stealing state secrets.”

The director looked at the books in her arms.  “These are just old computer manuals.”

“Yes.”

“I mean, if he really wanted state secrets -- “

“Would you want his highness playing with official state secrets?  No?  Then let us rejoice that he limits himself to old computer books.”

“I suppose,” said the director.

“It’s certainly better than the business with the duck suit,” the chamberlain said, instantly wincing as the words escaped his lips.

The director’s attention instantly perked up.  “Duck suit?”

“What duck suit?” the chamberlain asked.

“You just said ‘better than the duck suit’.”

“I did not.”

“Yes, you did!  You clearly said ‘better than the business with the duck suit’.  I suggest you put the concept far from your mind.”

“His majesty does not cavort about in a duck suit.”

The director eyed the chamberlain carefully.  “It’s going to take a lot to keep me thinking about a duck suit that may or may not exist, and may or may not be worn by his majesty on occasion.”

The chamberlain closed his eyes and sighed.  “And what, perchance, do you think it would take?”

“Some big project to occupy my mind, help me forget I eye heard about a duck suit.”

“And that would be?”

“The museum needs a new wing.”

“I’ll bring up the topic when his majesty awakens from his nap.”

The director smiled and curtsied, then turned to leave with her old books.

“This new wing,” said the chamberlain, “it would have secret passages for skulking about, I presume?”

“I guarantee it,” said the director.

© Buzz Dixon