Nobody Likes Crap

That’s why they don’t watch so-called faith-based movies.

I don’t know if this is true for all faiths or if it’s true for all films with religious elements.

I suppose a rip-roaring old school vampire movie with Van Helsing fending off Dracula with a cross might still work.

But to focus on the here and now. Christian faith-based movies typically flop with mainstream audiences.

As has been noted on this blog before, the hardcore Christian movie market is a lot like the hardcore porn market:  They don’t care about quality so long as their pleasure centers get stimulated.

The hardcore Christian faith-based movie -- typically shot and shown in a church basement* -- is a meager, threadbare thing no deeper than a Dixie cup.

And as regular readers of this blog know, lo-to-no-budget filmmaking can produce some outstanding films.**  The problem with Christian lo-to-no-budget movies is that they generally lack any skill, talent, or insight to make up for the deficit in production values.

But Christian movies could skate around that if it wasn’t for a much bigger problem they face:

Contemporary American Christianity

General audiences don’t go to Christian faith-based movies because there are too many megachurches raping children, abusing parishioners, and supporting white supremacy in the name of God.

Mainstream American audiences don’t want to see Christian faith-based movies because there’s a God-damned*** toxic tsunami rampaging through the faith right now, fueled by pulpits crowded with sociopathic monsters and political propagandists looking for their next mark.

Talking about creating Christian media today is like asking if the napkins should be folded in squares or triangles in the Titanic’s main dining room on April 14, 1912.

Folks…stop it…we’ve got more important matters to attend to.

Christianity needs to recover its amateur status.  Shut down the seminaries, shut down the Christian academies, shut down the for-profit ministries, shut down all the broadcast companies.

Nobody should make a dime off religion of any stripe, but speaking as a Christian, I’m aiming here first.

Shut down the churches.

Hand the hospitals and foster homes and soup kitchens over to non-profit non-denominational charities.

If a church can’t fit in a member’s living room, it’s too big.

Keep the faith small…and quiet.

Show you’re a Christian through your love, your compassion.

Be different to make a difference.

Stop trying to tyrannize those you don’t like.

Don’t be like the ones handing nails to the Romans two thousand years ago.

The contemporary American Christian church has failed woefully in its mission.

It needs a season or two in the wilderness -- a couple of generations as far away from the seats of power and influence as possible.

We’re doing more harm than good right now.

It’s time to shut up and fix our own problems.

© Buzz Dixon

*  To be fair a slight exaggeration…but only slight.

**  Go check out the oeuvre of Sean Baker:  Starlet, Tangerine, The Florida Project, and Red Rocket among others.

***  In the strictest theological meaning of the word.