Movies You Don’t Think Of As Christmas Movies (revised and updated for 2022)

Yeah, yeah, It's A Wonderful White Christmas Carol Story On 34th Street instantly springs to mind whenever somebody says "Christmas Movie" but here are a few you should give thought to as alternative programming for the season.

L.A. Confidential

The movie opens with a renegade LA cop going through his naughty list then spreading a little holiday cheer in a liquor store before answering the musical question, “Does the LAPD know how to throw a Christmas party or what?”

Die Hard / Lethal Weapon / Gremlins

Oh, yeah, like you didn’t see these coming…

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

The only James Bond movie with a Christmas song.

Hell’s Heroes

Hell's Heroes is the first sound version of The Three Godfathers, most famously filmed in 1948 with John Wayne.  Based on the novel by Peter B. Kyne, Three Godfathers has been filmed officially six times (2 silent versions, 3 talkies, 1 TV movie) and unofficially more than can be counted (see below).  Hell's Heroes is my favorite take on the tale, a story of three doomed desperadoes who sacrifice themselves to bring an infant to safety across the trackless desert. 

Tokyo Godfathers

So how in the world does a novel set in the American West translate into an animated feature set in 21st century Tokyo?  Very well, thank you.  The time and setting and characters have changed but it remains essentially the same story:  The desperate, the doomed, and the damned prove their humanity by saving an infant on Christmas Eve.  Highly recommended.

The Junky’s Christmas

Now, I know what you're thinking: You're thinking "Buzz has finally lost his pea-pickin' mind.  A story about a petty criminal drug addict trying to score a fix is his idea of a Christmas story?!?!?"

As a failed veep candidate would say:  "Hew betcha."  'Cuz The Junky's Christmas is William S. Burrough's meditation on the act of compassion even when it runs contrary to one's own self-interest.  It's the story of a jonesin' user who has the choice of feeding his addiction or helping a total stranger who needs his fix even more than he does.  Read the original short story, then watch the marvelous animated puppet film.

Christmas On Mars

No, this is the film where I finally lose my pea-pickin' mind.  Christmas On Mars is an indie sci-fi feature by the Oklahoma alt rock band, The Flaming Lips.  It's a clever, well made, intelligent, thoughtful, and ultimately uplifting tale of human colonists on Mars just trying to get through their daily routines without collapsing into despair and depression.

I recommend Christmas On Mars highly, but if you are among my many friends who are easily offended (and remember, if I think something might be a little iffy you can guess how far on beyond zebra it must be) take heed:  The aliens are modeled on something that's incredibly NSFW.  Santa Claus Conquers The Martians this ain't...

Tangerine

A story of two transgender Hollywood street hustlers on Christmas Eve, with everything you could want in a holiday film:  Inventively obscene language, rampant prostitution, startling displays of nudity, and horrifying-yet-hilarious street violence.

And compassion.

And loyalty.

And love.

For several characters, their Christmas ends in heartbreaking despair brought about by their own weaknesses and failings, yet in the end Tangerine focuses on the two hustlers mutual support providing them joy and peace that none of the others can know.

© Buzz Dixon