Retired Veterans Telling Their War Stories [FICTOID]

A light drizzle forced the old culture war vets inside, and as they sat around the fireplace in the community room, sipping hot cocoa, they swapped stories.

“I remember when we boycotted that football player for kneeling,” Karen said.  “How discourteous of him to silently protest injustice and violence when we wanted to see the players knock each other’s blocks off.”

“I agree,” said the other Karen.  “It should be abundantly clear that Sunday football is merely an extension of church service, that players are supposed to do unto others as others do unto them.”

“I grant there are folks who hold contrary opinions,” said the other other Karen, “but that doesn’t give them the right to actually express those opinions, much less challenge those of us who express the correct opinion.”

“They need to keep their mouths shuts and their fingers off their keyboards and go along with what we tell them,” said the other Karen.  

“I fear what this country is becoming,” said Karen.  “There’s scarcely a day that goes by without somebody complaining about us taking away their rights.”

“They should learn to fasten their lips shut in nursery school,” said the other Karen.  “Just because there’s more of them than there are of us doesn’t make them a majority.”

“Everyone should go to church on Sunday then watch football,” said the other other Karen.  

“Well, not everybody goes to church on Sunday,” said the other Karen.  “Jews, for instance.  But they can watch and support Saturday football.”

“The orthodox ones don’t,” said Karen.  “In fact, they say it’s a sin to play on Saturday.”

“I never heard that,” said the other other Karen.

“That’s because we put them in internment camps,” said Karen.

© Buzz Dixon