Conspiracy Theory Convention [FICTOID]

“The thing about alternate quantum universes is this:  They make all conspiracy theories true…somewhere.”

The woman in the electric scooter scoured Pete’s pamphlets.  “Even the ones that are contradictory?” she asked, not taking her eyes off his wares.

“Especially the ones that are contradictory,” Pete said.  “By being contradictory, they prove one another.  You can’t have a yin without a yang, no?”

“I suppose,” the woman said, still not looking up.  It was her vacation and she wanted to bring home some souvenirs from the convention. 

“Take the Watergate break in,” Pete said.  “In one universe, it never happened.  In another, it was a military mutiny against Nixon for ending the war.  Each idea is equally valid, if you catch my drift.”

The woman thumbed through a pamphlet claiming two Polish brothers invented the compass in 1547.  She put it down and picked up another that claimed the longest filibuster in U.S. history was still going on -- an Alabama senator hidden deep in the Congressional crypt, still railing against abolition.  “Got anything on crop circles?”

Pete handed her a pamphlet.  “They’re created by possums, y’know.”

“Isn’t that a mighty prosaic theory?” she asked.

“Not if it’s a possum conspiracy,” Pete said.

© Buzz Dixon