A Sales Manager Has Had Enough [FICTOID]

“This headlight is crooked,” said the man from Australia.

“’Crooked’,” said the sales manager.  “As in mounted incorrectly?”

“No, it’s mounted correctly, guv.  It just bends when it comes out.”

“’Bends’.”

“Right.”

“As in points the wrong way?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.  it actually curves.”

“’Curves’.”

“Curves.”

A long pause followed.  A long, long pause.

The man from Australia asked:  “Well?”

“’Well’, what?”

“Aren’t you going to do anything about it?”

“What?  Why, yes.  Yes!  Of course, dear sir.  The customer is always right, sir.”

The man from Australia frowned.  “I don’t think you’re taking me seriously.”

“’Seriously’?  Oh, you want me to take you seriously!  Why, yessir!  Right away, sir!  We’ll just pop down to the maintenance department and have them put that pesky old headlight beam into our headlight beam straightener and =poof!= presto-change-o, just as straight as the coast of Norway.”

The man from Australia scowled.  “I don’t think you’re approaching my problem in good faith.”

“Oh, is it good faith you want now?  Listen, you lop-eared scion of a brain dead butterfly, if you don’t drag your dog-sniffing ass out of here in the next twelve seconds, I’m going to ram a rabid mountain badger down your gullet sideways, do you hear me?  I’ll make your eyes bug out like an owl with explosive diarrhea!  Hit the road before I rip out your heart and spit in the hole, you bedraggled deadbeat!”

“You needn’t get testy -- “

“OUT!!!”

The man from Australia left.  The sales manager sighed and rubbed his forehead.

Some customers, he thought.

The intercom buzzed; it was the maintenance department.  “Hey, what do you want us to do with this new headlight beam straightener?”

© Buzz Dixon