Tension In Suburbia [FICTOID]

“The red shirt or the blue?”

“Pardon?”

“The red shirt or the blue?  Which should I wear Saturday?”

Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose to relieve her eyestrain.  “It doesn’t matter,” she said.

“I thought you said it was important to get everything right,” her husband said.

“It is, Bill, but not petty details like which shirt.

“Besides, you won’t be wearing it that long.  The neighbors start arriving at 8, I expect to have everybody in the pool or hot tub by 9, in bed by 10, and back home no later than 1”

“You’re running this like a train schedule,” Bill said.

“Well, somebody has to.  You just can’t spontaneously throw a neighborhood orgy.  You need to plan things out.

“Some of our neighbors have church the next day -- the pastor and his wife, for example.  Then I have to consider who might not be a good match.

“Jennifer and Francine both volunteer at the medical center and there’s a bit of a rivalry between then, so it won’t do to pair them up with each other’s husbands.

“George won the gardening prize with his orchids this year, so I can’t put him in the same bedroom with the Cumbersons.

“You told me Ted got into a row with Milly at the club over what par should be for the course, so I can’t pair them up, which is a pity since normally they go so well together.

“Peggy works at the animal shelter so dander tends to cling to her, meaning she can’t be with Lucille’s husband because Lucille has allergies.  And the Roswells -- “

Bill planted a big kiss on her lips, muffling Sarah’s complaint.

“C’mon, you’re overthinking this,” he said, picking up her desk planner.

He looked at her notes.  “Wait -- you’ve got me paired up with Dorothy?  After the last time -- “

Sarah snatched her planner back.  “Take one for the team,” she said.  “It’s the only way I can pair everybody else up successfully.”

© Buzz Dixon