Big Time Deals In The Big City [FICTOID]

“Big time deals, yessir!  Big time.  A day, a year, a decade, a century!  Big time, all the time!”

“What if I don’t like it?” one of his potential customers asked.

“Double your money back guaranteed -- but we never had any complaints -- not a touch of scandal.”

The would-be customer looked dubious.  “That’s a mighty bold challenge.”

“No challenge at all to a man like me -- or a woman like you,” the barker said insultingly.  “Palace or pigsty, skyscraper or slum, you’ll like the time I give you.”

“That’s the other thing,” said the customer.  “How do I know I’m getting what I want?”

The barker beckoned him over with his meaty finger.  “C’mere,” he said.

As the customer leaned in, he said, “Listen, punk, you’ve got nobody here to protect you and you’re skinny enough for me to snap in half if you give me any more of your philosophical bullshit.

“Now, I don’t want to start a feud, but you either walk away from here or you crawl away, makes no difference to me.”

The customer blanched.  “You don’t have to get so nasty -- “

“Shut up!” the barker said.  “Unless you leave, I won’t protect you anymore.  One of my gang might get nervous, think you’ll talk.”

“Gang?”  The customer looked around nervously.  “What should I do?”

“How should I know?  Do whatever you want -- just so long as it isn’t around here.”

Then louder, to the other customers:  “Big time!  Big time!  All the time you could want!  Big time!”

© Buzz Dixon