Halloween 2012

okay kids let’s go awwww do we hafta?

yes dears after all he is your father besides this will only take an hour (which we’ll dock from his weekly visitation) and then we’re off to your aunt’s house and won’t we have fun there?

so into the car they pile: .....beautiful mom .....beautiful children .....beautiful dog

(a purebred collie, source of much contention in the family in days of yore dad often said you love that dog more than you love me and mom and the kids said duh…)

mom checks rear view mirror makes sure her little boy clown (store bought costume) and her little girl princess (homemade mother-daughter project) are safely strapped in

the collie is bounding around in the backseat

can’t keep her still no matter what

no matter

pull out into traffic head to dad’s place

do we hafta go trick or treating with dad?

yes dears he is your father (biologically speaking) be polite (that will help us with the judge) but don’t eat any of the candy (your dad lives in a sketchy neighbor

but that’s his choice his responsibility)

we’ll throw it away before we go to your aunt’s party (who knows what kind of

off brand trash his neighbors will be offering)

there will be much better candy at your aunt’s house (much better) but don’t tell him don’t hurt his feelings (that’s my job)

it’s warm for late October

and the collie whines and presses her nose against the window

so the clown in the back seat lowers it and the collie sticks her head out and grooves on the rush of air through her fur and over her tongue

and the princess complains that the breeze from the window is messing her hair

and mom glances in the rearview mirror to tell the clown to raise the window

and the car...d_r_i_f_t_s...e_v_e_r...so...s_l_i_g_h_t_l_y across the dividing line

huge tractor-trailer rig barrels down the road on the other side

misses their car by a quarter of an inch

but it doesn’t miss the collie

WHUMP!  =snikt!=

and the dog is decapitated as neatly as if Doctor Sergei S. Bryukhonenko had been in charge of the project

headless canine body flops back in the rear seat, heart still pumping blood

children scream in horror as it sprays out .....soaking them .....soaking their costumes .....soaking the rear seat

mom screams in horror red spray coats her windshield zigzags across several lanes (thank God other drivers see her/swerve/avoid tragedy) regains control children continue screaming decapitated dog twitches and kicks and claws and scratches

urine and feces spew out mix with blood add to holiday festivities

in shock, mom wonders what to do

purse is covered in blood can’t reach for her phone

but they’re only a few blocks from dad’s apartment!

hits the accelerator runs a red light narrowly avoids another accident

screeches to a halt in front of the building (thank God he lives on the ground floor with a door facing the street)

mom flings open the rear door screams for her kids to get out

they scramble out crying and sobbing shock taking over

stay here!  don’t move!

mom runs to dad’s door pounds on it leaves bloody fist prints

kids stand by the open car door look at the now still corpse they cry they sob they can’t do anything they’ve got to do something

so without a word they gently reach in pull the body out cradle it in their arms walk up to dad’s door

dad opens the door holding his third beer of the afternoon (fifth for the whole day)

his kids stand in front of him faces stark with horror eyes brimming with sorrow

.....blood-soaked clown .....blood soaked princess .....blood-soaked canine corpse w/no head

and he smiles

“Hey, kids, great costumes!”

story © Buzz Dixon

 

Thinkage

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