Nobody Tosses Salads Like Sandra [FICTOID]

“There’s no double meaning to this, is there?”

“Nope.”

“No double entendre, no sly inuendo?”

“No.  It says what it says.”

“You toss salads.”

“Yep.”

“No funny business?”

“None -- unless you find salad tossing hilarious.”

“The only thing I find hilarious is your choice of words -- and profession.”

“Hey, we all have our calling.  This is mine.”

“Salad tossing.”

“Yep.”

“And you charge for this.”

“Like the Joker says, if you’re good at something, never do it for free.”

“So how much do you charge for a salad tossing?”

“Depends on the size of the salad.  Dinner salads? $20.  Full size salad, $50.  Half-size, $35.”

“Why not $25?”

“Because the dinner salads are much smaller and simpler than a full size salad.  Look, I just can’t toss a salad for less than $20, and even there I’m barely making any money on the deal.  A half-size salad requires just as much preparation as a full size salad, but at $25 I wouldn’t be able to break even.  Nope, gotta charge $35.”

“So, would you toss my salad?”

“What kind of salad do you want?”

“Let’s start with a $20 dinner salad.  I’m not a cheapskate -- ”

“Didn’t say you were.”

“ -- I just want to know what I’m getting.”

“Sure thing.  Now, you just sit right there and I’ll toss your salad in a jiffy.”

The customer sat down and Sandra got to work. 

Though dubious at first, the customer soon found themselves amazed then dazzled by Sandra’s dexterous moves, a veritable ballet of culinary delight as she whipped up a simple dinner salad for her customer:  First a wedge of romaine lettuce, then three cherry tomatoes, a fistful of croutons, and a drenching of ranch dressing.

But, oh! ‘twas not what she made but how she made it.

In an urgent flurry of motions Sandra spun and swooped and sliced, all the ingredients flowing into her serving bowl like a chorus line of trained dancers supporting a superstar on stage.

And that superstar was Sandra.  The customer felt their breath taken away at the grace and beauty of her movements.  Sandra dredged up feelings the customer long since forgot, feelings of joy, that unique joy associated with a love of movement and art.

And then…it was over.

After all, it was only a dinner salad, nothing more.

© Buzz Dixon