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“While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.”
“Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.”
“Paul tells us that your penis actually belongs to your wife, and once you are married she will trade you it for her home (I Corinthians 7:4), and every man knows this is a very good trade for him to make.”
Whoops! My mistake! This is Mark Driscoll,
former pastor of the former megachurch Mars Hill.
Mark is taking a leave of absence
in order to spend more time with his lawyer.
The previous images were of George Liquor (TM) John Krisfalusi.
“With his penis, the man is supposed to learn to please his wife and learn how to be patient, self-controlled and be educated on how to keep his home happy and joyous (I Corinthians 7:3). The man should be aroused by his new home, and the wife should rejoice at seeing his penis rise to greet her (Song of Songs 5:14b).”
All quotes direct & documented –
you can’t make this stuff up, folks!
“This is part and parcel of The Big Lie we Americans tell ourselves. That one about our vaunted exceptionalism. Heh, heh, exceptionalism. Riiiiight. Exceptionalism isn’t even a real word, but then that’s par for the course. Tell me, America, what’s so damned exceptional about fearing the police? About living in fear of authority? What’s exceptional about armed troops in the streets? About armored vehicles and automatic weapons on the corners, in the playgrounds, guarding the schools and the store and the police stations? About blockades and showing your papers? What’s exceptional about being shot down without trial or due process? What exactly is exceptional about dead kids in the street? What’s exceptional about tear gas and rubber bullets – or lead ones for that matter? But then what’s so exceptional about an armed population? About citizens who solve their differences with pistols and assault weapons? What’s exceptional about racism and inequality and disparity and naked hate? What’s exceptional about crime and riot? What’s exceptional about the arrest and detainment of journalists and reporters? What’s exceptional about political division that verges on civil war? These things are all too common around the world…If you want to be exceptional, America, then you have to be the exception.” — Jim Wright, Stonekettle Station
Had an odd twinge of nostalgia / sadness today. Saw / heard two things that I wished I could have shared with now deceased family members.
The thing that made me feel nostalgic / sad was not that I was missing them for what they had done for me, but because I was missing the chance to do something for them.
Even something as silly and as slight as relaying a cartoon or good news that they might particularly enjoy is a privilege that I’m now doing without.
That, ultimately, is what love is all about:
The desire to do something good for another person, no matter how small, with no thought of reciprocation other than the delight and satisfaction in knowing you helped another human being.
Human beings, being human of course, tend to form their closest bonds to their immediate families / mates. That’s to be expected, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. (Indeed, I feel sorry for those who are the products of dysfunctional families, who never learned to love and trust those physically closest to them; may they find peace and happiness and that missing love with others.)
But beyond our immediate familial / blood / mating ties there should be love that extends to others. First it is those like us in age or interests or community, then it is to those who share our same general values even if they are not immediate neighbors, then our entire country / culture / religion.
But that’s still too narrow a band on love.
Love should extend to everyone everywhere all the time. This most pointedly is NOT saying that all actions are equally benign, or that all behaviors should be tolerated under all circumstances.
But it does say we are to love our enemies, to love those who despitefully use us, to love those who hate us and do no reciprocate our gestures of mercy and forgiveness and tolerance.
Never return evil for evil,
neglect for neglect.
The writer Andrew Vachss summed it up succinctly:
“Children know the truth.
Love is not an emotion.
Love is a behavior.”
“Beautiful view! Is there one for the enlisted men?”
Bill Mauldin, circa WWII [this is how a military leader
expresses love for his troops; he sees that their needs
are taken care of first, and that he enjoys nothing
they can not have as well.]
Hieronymus Bosch – Garden Of Earthly Delights
So I says to St. Pete
says I to he
gate to heaven?
St. Pete says,
Oh we’ve got the gate
and it works very well.
Understand this life
and the previous life
are like elevators
in a skyscraper.
Down in the lobby level,
anybody can walk
back and forth, back and forth
between the two sides.
One side is the love others side,
and the other is the love myself side.
Depending on which side
you’re on when you die,
that’s the elevator you take
to the penthouse.
Now, those of you on the love others side,
when you died you came straight up here
non-stop, like a utility elevator:
Not exactly plush,
but it gets you there.
But if you were on the love myself side,
the fancy elevator takes you to a foyer
just outside the penthouse.
We have a canned message playing, saying,
“Every thing you think you believed was true is false
and if you renounce it, you can come in.
Take all the time you want in making your decision.”
Now here’s the thing:
If you were on the love myself side,
you’re not caring about other people,
you’re wondering how you
are going to get into heaven.
You’re asking yourself,
“Is this a trick?
Did I really believe
the wrong thing, or
are they just testing me?
“If I do renounce my belief,
and it was a test,
then I’m in hell for all eternity.
“But if they are telling the truth,
and I don’t renounce my belief,
then I’m damning myself to hell.”
You, and the others on this side,
worried less about getting to heaven
than you worried about loving your neighbors,
treating people fairly,
acting justly and
You have no belief to renounce
because you were doing,
The other side,
they’re stewing away,
sweating it out,
wondering which answer is correct.
And they know they only get
one shot at answering it,
and that answer
where they spend eternity.
Well, what about
the ones to choose,
one way or another?
What do you do
when they come
through the gate?
What do you say
about their choice
Never had that problem.
They’re so anxious for themselves,
they never get around to making the final choice.
Every time they nearly convince themselves one way,
they turn around and argue themselves out of it the other.
Lacking love, they possess only fear,
and fear is what keeps them from entering.
Seems mighty cruel.
St. Pete shrugs.
Keeps the assholes out.
(c) Buzz Dixon
It has been pointed out that outrage is no good if it does not point to a viable solution. For those who might be interested in helping out by taking in children who are in need of foster care, we present the following resources:
Even if one can not be a full time foster parent or an adoptive parent, one can be a child advocate and help out in some way. Like the story of the starfish on the beach, it may not be possible to help them all, but it will mean everything to the ones who can be helped.