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Lying Sacs Of Human Excrement

17/10/2014

If no chain is stronger than the weakest link, no bridge stronger than the weakest girder, then the Christian church is royally fucked.

animated the general trestle collapse

We have bullying liars who, when called on their bullying and their lying, proclaim themselves to be victims, and the very people they have been actively seeking to harm are portrayed as villains.

Let us discuss the recent brouhaha regarding the subpoena issued by pro bono lawyers for Houston Mayor Annise Parker.

Ms Parker and the Houston City Council recently passed a measure called HERO (for Houston Equal Rights Ordinance) as is their right as duly elected officials of that city.

So far, so good.

A group of people opposed to that law circulated a petition for a referendum to repeal it.

Again, so far, so good.

Ms Parker et al rejected the petitions citing discrepancies that invalidated most of the signatures gathered.

Hmm, could be problematic;
hope they have the facts to back this up.

The group opposed to them filed a lawsuit — as is their right — claiming the petitions had been arbitrarily and unjustly dismissed.

A serious charge, if they can prove it’s true.

Up to this point, a few things that make one go “hmmm” but nothing illegal, unjust, or unconstitutional. Elected officials make a ruling, challengers go to court to challenge it, happens all the time, all legal and above board.

The next step is the one where
the lying sacs of human excrement
present themselves front and center.

See, under the laws of this great land — hell, under any standard of common human courtesy & decency; including most specifically the Bible’s own Golden Rule — what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

If you file suit against someone, you are asking a court to compel them to hand over evidence they may possess that will strengthen your case, establishing and proving facts that will help your claim.

But guess what?
They get to do
the exact same thing
right back atcha!

Pro bono lawyers, responding to the lawsuit on behalf of the LGBT community, fired back with a volley of discovery subpoenas of their own — which is their right!

They requested internal communications from the group bringing the lawsuit, as well as with people outside that group who had been working with them on the petition issue.

Now, you want to make the argument
that was not the brightest political
move to make, go right ahead;
I’ll agree with you on that point.

But there was nothing illegal, unconstitutional, threatening, or stifling about it.

Rather it was just a logical step any competent (albeit in this case politically tone deaf) lawyer would have done.

The subpoenas issued, while legal and basically justifiable, have been criticized as too broad and ambiguous, in particular when asking for copies of sermons written / delivered by various pastors who were associated with but not part of the group suing the mayor and city council.

The mayor, when she learned of them, had those particular subpoenas recalled; she and her legal team will obtain the information they need through other means.

But here’s what the lying sacs of human excrement have done:
Instead of saying merely that the opposing legal team’s subpoena request re discovery in a lawsuit that they and/or their allies had initiated was too broad, they quite deliberately and unambiguously presented the perfectly legal discovery subpoenas as an unwarranted, unprovoked, and unilateral action aimed at Christian churches purely with the intent of stifling opposition to laws passed by the government, in particular laws that reaffirm equal rights and protection under the law for all citizens and legal residents, regardless of race, color, creed, religion, nationality, gender, or previous condition of servitude.

And that, in a nutshell, is why people
are leaving organized Christianity
in greater and greater numbers.

If you’re going to act like a bully and deny other citizens their God given and constitutionally guaranteed rights, if you are going to file suit against people who protect those rights and demand discovery from them, then you are a hypocrite of the lowest, rankest order if you then turn around and deny you started the ball rolling, deny you initiated the process, deny your opposition is merely enjoying the exact same rights as you do in the exact same set of circumstances.

You are hypocrites.

And you are the reason more and more people are saying “shuck this fit” and walking away from our churches, never to return in our lifetime.

You lying sacs of human excrement are poisoning the well. You are convincing millions and millions of others that everything Christ taught, everything the church traditionally stood for re mercy and compassion and justice for all is nothing but a sham and a lie.

Nobody will side with that.

The time is coming when perhaps the kindest thing true Christians can do to the rotting shell of their organization is just to walk away from it, let it collapse, and start planting seeds for a truly organic Christian faith to grow.

It may be time to start thinking about walking away from Omelas.

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Alpha Omega Con 2014

21/09/2014

Well, we made it!  And a good time was had by all.  The first Alpha Omega Con is over, and a big 21 phaser cannon salute to Ralph Miley, Holly Knevelbaard, Eric Jansen, Clint Johnson, Kevin Young, Scot A. Shuford, and all the rest of the Christian Comic Arts Society and friends such as David Wood, Serena Travis, and Sheila Thompson who made it such a wonderful event!

Special thanks to our many, many guests and panelists, including:  Mike S. Miller (Justice League of America, Batman: Arkham), Flint Dille (Transformers, Teen Titans, Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu), Chris Yambar (The Simpsons, Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol), Kevin Grevioux (Underworld, Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.), Pastor Fred Price Jr. (Crenshaw Christian Center), Mike Kunkel (Herobear and the Kid), Dr. Thomas Parham (Asuza Pacific University), Eric Jansen (Christ of Prophecy, Paraman), Mike Shields (indie film maker), Dr. Fred Sanders (Biola University), Clyde Taber (Visual Story Network), Bill Morrison (Bongo Comics, The Simpsons), John David Ware (168 Film Project), B. Dave Walters (PeaceLoveMoney.Com), Jonathan Moch (the Emanation fantasy triology), Peter & Carmi Fellwock , and many more.

AO Con 2

AO Con Cosplay 1

AO Con Ben Avery

Ben Avery

AO Con Cosplay 2

AO Con Jerrell Conner

Jerrell Conner

AO Con Bibleman n Captain America

AO Con Mike Kunkle Kevin Grevioux

Mike Kunkle and Kevin Grevioux

AO Con Cosplay 3

AO Con Chris Yambar

Chris Yambar’s “Duck & Cover” seminar

AO Con Faithwalker

AO Con Biola Film Students

AO Con Jose Guillen

Jose Guillen

AO Con Jedi Elvis

AO Con 1

AO Con Zombie

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On The Convention Trail…

18/09/2014

AOCON post card front

The Christian Comics Art Society is hosting the Alpha Omega Con at Redeemer Church, 15151 Cordova Blvd. La Mirada, CA 90638 on September 20, 2014 from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM.   Advance tickets are available at the event web site and on iTickets.com for only $5.  Admission is $10 at the door.  Children 12 and under are free with an adult ticket.  For more information about programming, exhibitors, cosplay guidelines, and to register for the event, please visit http://www.AlphaOmegaCon.com or http://www.iTickets.com or call 800-965-9324.

 

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Been There, Done That

13/09/2014

So Bill Maher went on the Charlie Rose show and said blah blah blah something something something “most Muslim people in the world do condone violence just for what you think”.

Not having seen the show but only reading the transcript, I don’t know if Maher meant it in the sense of “condone violence just for the thoughts you think” or if he meant it in the context of beheadings, stoning apostates, genitally mutilating women, etc., etc., and of course, etc. being what you think the Muslims condone.

And being the crafty shifty shaper of words that he is, he immediately tries to have his cake and eat it by saying “vast numbers of Islamic people around the world [are not distancing themselves from ISIS]. That’s just not true” but “Vast numbers of Christians do not believe that if you leave the Christian religion you should be killed for it. Vast numbers of Christians do not treat women as second class citizens. Vast numbers of Christians…do not believe if you draw a picture of Jesus Christ you should get killed for it.”

Well, thanx, Bill:
You just created enough straw men to cast every production of The Wizard Of Oz well into the 23rd century.

BM Scarecrow

Next time tell us what you mean by “vast” and “not vast”.  You can pull anything out of your ass hat and claim it fits those parameters.

He blathers on:
“There was a Pew poll in Egypt done a few years ago — 82% said, I think, stoning is the appropriate punishment for adultery. Over 80% thought death was the appropriate punishment for leaving the Muslim religion.”

Cherry picking data from a poll taken at an unspecified point a few years back, Maher fails to state if he is citing actual responses to questions or if he is merely extrapolating from data.  More recent polls have indicated a small-to-medium shift away from Islamic believers support of strict Sharia law, but, hey, you can’t trust “those” people, can you?  They never change their attitudes and beliefs…

…just as American Christians never change
their opinions on matters like same sex marriage.

And needless to say, the bigoted chattering class
has embraced Maher’s weaselly rantings.

I’m sorry, folks, but I can’t hear you over the screams of Holocaust victims, burning Huguenots / Knights Templar / “witches”, Caribbean and Native American peoples, or the weeping of Africans crammed in the hulls of slave ships…

Yeah, right now there’s some pretty ugly stuff flourishing in various corners of the Islamic world.  We in the Christian West had to go thru similar festering periods in our own history, they have to go thru it now.

You don’t get to escape your adolescence on your way to becoming an adult.  The West has, for a variety of reasons, a 500 year head start on the rest of the world.  We also have more blood on our hands and in our history than they do.

As a brown skinned Middle Eastern religious leader of a few millennia back once said:
“First take the plank out of your own eye…”

Read Rodney Stark.  Read Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, And Steel.  So called “Christian” nations & leaders have behaved just as swinishly as non-Christians, they just sugar coated it with “it’s God’s will” or “manifest destiny” or “divine providence” or “American exceptionalism”.

Bull. 
Fucking. 
Shit.

Look how many people were murdered in the Holocaust by Germany because they were the wrong religion. Germany gave us Martin Luther, and for all the good he did Luther also signed off on the persecution of Jewish people.

His poison permeated the German culture:
Track down an unexpurgated collection of the Grimm Bros tales and see how many stories involve a Jewish villain who deserves death or a Jewish victim the Christian hero is justified in abusing.

All this created a toxic environment where selfish industrialists in the aftermath of World War One promoted a crackpot and his failing anti-Semitic party in order to prevent communists / socialist / trade unions from demanding any of the industrialists’ hard earned won stolen cash.

And weep not for Germany:
Millions of them turned a blind eye and kept a silent tongue towards the hatred and persecution of the Jews and the gypsies and the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  They capitalized on the extermination of their neighbors even if they didn’t shove them into the showers personally.

What happened to them at the hands
of the Russians was richly deserved.

They never questioned their culture, they never asked if “those” people were truly as evil as their children’s stories and popular literature and pastors claimed.

To further quote the aforementioned brown skinned Middle Eastern religious teacher of two millennia ago:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Oh, but that was those nasty rotten Germans:
We are better; we are Anglo-American Christians and thus have a higher, nobler standard we live by.

Again:
Bull.
Fucking.
Shit.

Look at the Manga Carta; while preening over how wonderful a document it is regarding rights and freedoms, don’t overlook the part where a Jewish person’s estate couldn’t collect debts after they died, nor should you overlook the Edict of Expulsion just a few years later.

Cross the Atlantic:
Read about Columbus & his men enslaving or massacring Caribbean natives, often using brutal methods that make a trip to the showers at Auschwitz seem like a spring walk.

And speaking of walks, how
about that Trail Of Tears?

Want something a little more recent?
Let’s talk about how the Southern Baptist Convention was formed to justify slavery as a Christian institution in the U.S., how after the Civil War they supported segregation and fought against civil rights, how they and others of their ilk formed the backbone of the Ku Klux Klan, lynched hundreds of African-Americans, terrorized hundreds of thousands more, then when the rest of the country finally said, “Hold!  Enough!” to segregation, they ran off to form colleges and private schools and start home school movements to make sure their previous white broods didn’t have to breath class room air contaminated by…”them”.

Maher’s rant is based on one thing:
All he sees in the Islamic world is a bunch of “not-mes” he can justify dehumanizing and hating.

Maher, being an avowed atheist, is
welcome to his God-damned opinion.

What disgusts me is the huge number of purported Christians who kvel orgasmically at this utter repudiation of Christ’s basic message.

Going back to that ol’ brown skinned Middle Eastern religious teacher:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”

If you want to embrace this bigotry,
please, by all means, feel free to do so.

But have the common courtesy
to renounce Christ first, m’kay?

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Mark Driscoll On The Proper Use Of Penis Homes

8/09/2014

JimmyGeorge-733166

“The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.”

GEORGEJIMMYsmall-702958

“While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.”

George sp3-755262

“Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.”

George GL_002-744549

“Paul tells us that your penis actually belongs to your wife, and once you are married she will trade you it for her home (I Corinthians 7:4), and every man knows this is a very good trade for him to make.”

mark_driscoll9mickeyWhoops!  My mistake!  This is Mark Driscoll,
former pastor of the former megachurch Mars Hill.  
Mark is taking a leave of absence
in order to spend more time with his lawyer.  
The previous images were of George Liquor (TM) John Krisfalusi.

“With his penis, the man is supposed to learn to please his wife and learn how to be patient, self-controlled and be educated on how to keep his home happy and joyous (I Corinthians 7:3). The man should be aroused by his new home, and the wife should rejoice at seeing his penis rise to greet her (Song of Songs 5:14b).”

14 07 27 cropp Maribel Soon-ok Anaya Buzz Manny1

larry fine 140114

husky what-do-you-want-from-me ear crop

dubious little girl

Christian Please Jesus-Facepalm

All quotes direct & documented –
you can’t make this stuff up, folks!

 

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Revival Houses

7/09/2014

Hollywood suffered a major disappointment at the box office this summer, and it looks like we’re seeing a major sea change in the way motion pictures and TV shows are viewed / consumed.

[We’re going full bore
theological after the jump,
but secular readers
are
safe until then.]

In a nut shell, fewer and fewer people feel like shelling out $10-20 bucks to eat overpriced popcorn while watching a movie they know little if anything about.

Previously, they had been willing to spend that kinda money for something they knew they would enjoy, either a branded form of entertainment like Walt Pixar Presents Harry Marvel’s War Trek 007:  Die With An Expendable Transforming Hard On, or Something Just Like It.

New[1] movies, unfamiliar concepts, non-popcorn crunchers just didn’t warrant a $10+ entry fee.

Wait till it comes on Pay-Per-Vue or HBO or Netflix or (really scraping the bottom of the barrel here) YouTube.

Heaven knows this is how I watch most of my media:
If it ain’t on Netflix /  HBO / YouTube or available on DVD, I’ll pass.

As a result movie theaters are slowly starting to spiral the drain.  Their biggest hits are aimed at a teen male heterosexual audience that can’t find dates and whose parents monitor their computer so they can’t watch porn.

There’s next to nada for older and/or female audiences.

Movies used to be a shared common public experience: 
You went to see something along with a bunch of other people, and then you discussed that experience with other people who hadn’t been there with you.

Now we share the experience online, comparing notes over TV shows and movies we watched in the privacy of our own homes.[2]

We don’t really connect with the rest of an audience in a movie theater.

Now, there is an exception to that, and that’s when  people come together to share a specific common interest.

Here in L.A. we have the El Capitan Theatre which shows Disney movies accompanied by elaborate stage shows.  People who go there go specifically to see a Disney movie with an elaborate stage show wrapped around it.

Or people go to sing-a-long events where classic musicals like The Sound Of Music are played with follow-the-bouncing-ball accompaniment, turning it into karaoke for the masses.

Or, if they are real film buffs, they go to the rapidly dwindling number of art / revival houses to see a specific film selected for them by the theater in the company of fellow film buffs.

Back in the day these sorts of theaters, while not exactly plentiful, were easy to find.  Every major urban area had at least two or three, sometimes many, many more.  Often they would show a new double every night ( not counting special kiddee matinees on Saturdays or late night cult films on Fridays and Saturdays).  The films would either be selected as complimentary to one another or as an interesting juxtaposition.  Once or twice a month there would be an evening of short subjects / cartoons / music videos.

ScalaForeverBeyondprogramme

In other words, every night a three to four hour block of interesting, thought provoking movies representing a wide variety of genres and styles.

If I were king of the forest, I’d want a neighborhood revival house where the staff selected an interesting double feature / selection of shorts for each evening.  Projection would be a state of the art digital system; it would be set up to scan 70mm / 35mm / 16mm / 9.5mm / Super 8 / 8mm films without having to run them through hellacious loud / hot / cranky projectors, as well as taking digital downloads / Blu-rays / DVDs / VHS / Beta / laserdisc / Fisher-Price PXL2000 sourced material.

There would be a selection of healthy / inexpensive drinks, good popcorn popped fresh daily, and quality snacks; and next door would be a Denny’s-style coffee shop so after the screening either the film makers or the theater manager could take people over to discuss what they had just seen and get to know one another better.

What we have instead, however, is a theatrical film going experience that relies more and more on variants of previous successes.  It is the rare theatrical film that makes even a token gesture at a fresh interpretation of old tropes, or presents itself in a style other than that of last year’s block buster.[3]

Read the rest of this article »

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Keep Your Eye On The Camel

26/08/2014

So I encountered someone who was Christsplaining “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God” on the InterWebs and thot oh hell NO! it would be a good topic for a blog post.

someone is wrong on the internet cap

Their Christplanation was that Jesus wasn’t saying rich people couldn’t go to heaven, because a camel going through the eye of a needle is obviously an impossibility.[1]

Instead, what Jesus was referring to was a special little gate called “The Eye Of The Needle” because it was so narrow, and that for a camel to pass through, it would first need to be unburdened and then get down on its knees and shuffle in.

For some peculiar reason this interpretation is extremely
popular with people who desire s4!tloads of money.[2]

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God” is a very complex metaphor.
Let me explain it to you:

“A camel” = a great big fracking animal

“the eye of a needle” = that leeeetle tiny hole at the end of the thin thin thin pointy metal thing you use to sew cloth together

“a rich man” = anybody who has two shirts when somebody else has none

“the kingdom of heaven” = to be in communion with God both here & now and the hereafter

Jesus was fond of using ridiculous hyperbole to prove his points. F’r instance, “why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” literally meant people were walking around with six foot long weaver’s beams in their eyes while criticizing their neighbors for having a speck of dust in theirs. Obviously a physical impossibility, but Christ wasn’t interested in telling something literally factual but rather spiritually true

Likewise “if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out” meaning literally gouge your eyes out rather than let them lead you into temptation. I don’t think Jesus expected anybody to take that as a serious command, but rather that we should remove from our lives anything that might cause us to harm another person or allow another to come to harm.

So the point he was getting across re camel / needle / rich man was this: If you are more interested in lining your own pocket than in seeing justice is done, you aren’t going to hell…

…you’re already there.

“The Christian life is not about pleasing God the finger-shaker and judge. It is not about believing now or being good now for the sake of heaven later. It is about entering a relationship in the present that begins to change everything now. Spirituality is about this process: the opening of the heart to the God who is already here.” — Marcus J. Borg, The God We Never Knew: Beyond Dogmatic Religion To A More Authentic Contemporary Faith

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[1] There is an alternate Christplanation where “camel” is a miscopying of the Aramic word for “rope” and there’s a certain appeal to that insofar as one can see a similarly between a thread and a rope. However, that Christplanation also misses the point that it’s fracking impossible.

[2] They don’t actually have to possess s4!tloads of money, just desire to possess s4!tloads of money. Check out Matthew 5:27-28.

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What Love Is

14/08/2014

Had an odd twinge of nostalgia / sadness today.  Saw / heard two things that I wished I could have shared with now deceased family members.

The thing that made me feel nostalgic / sad was not that I was missing them for what they had done for me, but because I was missing the chance to do something for them.

Even something as silly and as slight as relaying a cartoon or good news that they might particularly enjoy is a privilege that I’m now doing without.

That, ultimately, is what love is all about:
The desire to do something good for another person, no matter how small, with no thought of reciprocation other than the delight and satisfaction in knowing you helped another human being.

Human beings, being human of course, tend to form their closest bonds to their immediate families / mates.  That’s to be expected, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.  (Indeed, I feel sorry for those who are the products of dysfunctional families, who never learned to love and trust those physically closest to them; may they find peace and happiness and that missing love with others.)
But beyond our immediate familial / blood / mating ties there should be love that extends to others.  First it is those like us in age or interests or community, then it is to those who share our same general values even if they are not immediate neighbors, then our entire country / culture / religion.

But that’s still too narrow a band on love.

Love should extend to everyone everywhere all the time.  This most pointedly is NOT saying that all actions are equally benign, or that all behaviors should be tolerated under all circumstances.

But it does say we are to love our enemies, to love those who despitefully use us, to love those who hate us and do no reciprocate our gestures of mercy and forgiveness and tolerance.

Never return evil for evil,
neglect for neglect.

The writer Andrew Vachss summed it up succinctly:

“Children know the truth.
Love is not an emotion.
Love is a behavior.”

Bill Mauldin one for the enlisted men

“Beautiful view!  Is there one for the enlisted men?”
Bill Mauldin, circa WWII [this is how a military leader
expresses love for his troops; he sees that their needs
are taken care of first, and that he enjoys nothing
they
can not have as well.]

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Fictoid: So I Says To St. Pete…

10/08/2014

Hieronymus Bosch - garden of earthly delights1

Hieronymus Bosch – Garden Of Earthly Delights

So I says to St. Pete
says I to he
How come
there’s no
gate to heaven?

St. Pete says,
Oh we’ve got the gate
and it works very well.

Understand this life
and the previous life
are like elevators
in a skyscraper.  

Down in the lobby level,
anybody can walk
back and forth, back and forth
between the two sides.

One side is the love others side,
and the other is the love myself side.

Depending on which side
you’re on when you die,
that’s the elevator you take
to the penthouse.

Now, those of you on the love others side,
when you died you came straight up here
non-stop, like a utility elevator: 
Not exactly plush,
but it gets you there.

But if you were on the love myself side,
the fancy elevator takes you to a foyer
just outside the penthouse.  

We have a canned message playing, saying,
“Every thing you think you believed was true is false
and if you renounce it, you can come in.  
Take all the time you want in making your decision.”

Now here’s the thing:  
If you were on the love myself side,
you’re not caring about other people,
you’re wondering how you
are going to get into heaven.

You’re asking yourself,
“Is this a trick?  
Did I really believe
the wrong thing, or
are they just testing me?

“If I do renounce my belief,
and it was a test,
then I’m in hell for all eternity.

“But if they are telling the truth,
and I don’t renounce my belief,
then I’m damning myself to hell.”

You, and the others on this side,
worried less about getting to heaven
than you worried about loving your neighbors,
treating people fairly,
acting justly and
compassionately.  
You have no belief to renounce
because you were doing,
not believing.

The other side,
they’re stewing away,
sweating it out,
wondering which answer is correct.  

And they know they only get
one shot at answering it,
and that answer
will determine
where they spend eternity.

Wellwhat about
the ones to choose,

one way or another?  
What do you do
when they come
through the gate?  

What do you say
about their choice
either way?

Never had that problem.  
They’re so anxious for themselves,
they never get around to making the final choice.  
Every time they nearly convince themselves one way,
they turn around and argue themselves out of it the other.  
Lacking love, they possess only fear,
and fear is what keeps them from entering.

Seems mighty cruel.

St. Pete shrugs.  
Keeps the assholes out.

(c) Buzz Dixon

 

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Addendum to “Lauren’s Choice”

30/06/2014

I’ve been asked, “But what about adoption for unwanted children?”

To that I say:

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
and even more
YES!!!
PLEASE!!!

That is the best, most humane solution to the problem of a woman’s unwanted pregnancy.  It’s a perfect example of “pony up”.  Give that child a stable, loving home.  Raise it to its full potential.  Personally assume that responsibility.

A blessing for the child
A blessing for the parent
A blessing for the society

GO FOR IT!

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