Archive of articles classified as' "Fictoids"

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…and then I woke up screaming::desire


I desire you cap

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Guest Fictoid: I Hate It When This Happens


harry harrison - just wont stay dead

I enjoying coming up with
weird little stories inspired
by old time advertising and
pulp illos, but this time the
original story blurb worked
better than anything I could
possibly think of.

art by Harry Harrison

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Fictoid: she ain’t as old as she looks


James Montgomery Flagg - when do you want me

underlying art by James Montgomery Flagg

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Fictoid: your last / worst nightmare


Hugh Joseph Ward - plunging to death

underlying art by Hugh Joseph Ward

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Fictoid: Stop Me If You’ve Read This Before


fictoid stop me if youve read this before

almost every sci-fi / fantasy / superhero epic out there

he pushed the big blue button
that made

the red things
the green things

they fought and fought and fought to prove
some obscure point

their sufferings?

their crimes?

their philosophies?

their hearts / minds?
filled with hate

their blood sang of fire and ice

and in the end

the heroes won

and virtue triumphed

it always does
it always will
only survivors
get to tell their stories

art by Gray Morrow
text © Buzz Dixon


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one night in the Desert Inn, circa 1968


Don Punchatz - howard hughes BWunderlying art by Don Punchatz


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Fictoid: every wife’s nightmare


James Montgomery Flagg - I married a doofus

underlying art by James Montgomery Flagg

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Fictoid: the consummate consumers


Mel Hunter - hot rod robot

the breakthrough came when some genius (har-dee-har-har) realized that in order to make our machines more like us, we needed to make them consumers

and when you coupled the assembly line ‘bots and the autonomous home vacuum cleaners and the self-guided cars and drone delivery systems with the corporate-capitalist philosophy ingrained in the programming of the machines in the accounting departments, well, you didn’t have to be a genius to see how this was going to play out

it took less than a generation for them to dominate the planet:
faster, more efficient, more productive, never resting, able to work and consume simultaneously 24/7/52

they soon crowded out all the viable agricultural areas for gimcrack gooliwags of their own particular design and devising, stuff that was only important to them and utterly incomprehensible to humans

by the time the remaining humans realized what was going on, it was much too late; the tipping point had already been passed and all that was left was a futile display of defiant violence and then =poof!= the last of the humans were gone

being effective consumers who did not need ecosystems (mecosystems, yes), the machines quickly killed off all life on the planet and began stripping earth down to its mantle in order to gain more raw material for their foofaraws, bric-a-brac, ornaments, knickknacks, trinkets, souvenirs, bibelots, gewgaws, gimcracks, tchotchkes, mementos, tokens, trophies, junk, and plain old useless crap

and once earth had been exhausted they leapt into space and began strip mining the other worlds and moons and asteroids in our solar system and when those were gone they began a slow steady migration through the kuyper belt, past the oort cloud, leaping from comet to comet, ice planet to ice planet until they reached the next solar system and the next and the next and the next after that

they became known through the galaxy as a fearful scourge, making and breaking and buying and consuming without end, without purpose, without logic

grand epics were written about myriad cultures attempting to fight these consuming machines to the very end, and in some cases they succeed for a period of time but in most cases they fell quickly and in all cases they eventually fell

such was the legacy of the human race…if anybody had ever known the human race had existed

the machines had long since deleted that data from their circuits

from their vantage point
in the afterlife, humanity
looks down and says,
“Maybe making our creations
too much in our own image wasn’t
such a hot idea after all.”

And God says,
“Feh!  I could
have told you that! 
But would you have




art by Mel Hunter
text © Buzz Dixon


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Fictoid: one evening at the pub…


James Biungham - clock clean

underlying art by James Bingham
text © Buzz Dixon

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Fictoid: One Day At The No-Tell Motel


Robert G Harris - isnt that your husband

underlying art by Robert G. Harris

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