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Fictoid: one night at the field sobriety checkpoint


at the sobriety checkpoint

“Sir, have you been drinking?”

“No.  What makes you think that?”

“You’re eating a cigar and smoking a Slim Jim.”

“They’re healthier that way.”

“Hmm, point taken.  Have a good evening, sir.”

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Fictoid: There’s An App For That


Rene Gruau - theres an app for that

It’s very simple, Senator.

We need you to support a bill to provide a nationwide anti-bullying app for all school kids.

If they’re bullied, all they have to do is enter the name of the person bullying them.

Of course, the reports are anonymous…

At first.

The idea is to link specific abusers with specific victims.

Oh, we’ll make a show of bringing the young miscreants in, give them a good scolding, a sound talking to, that sort of thing.

But in reality we’re going to track them, guide them, steer them to careers in law enforcement, tax collecting, social services, prison guards.

See, we’re also going to track all the victims as well.  And when they’ve grown into tax paying adults, we’re going to keep them in line by bringing their childhood nemesis back into their lives.  Make them more compliant, as it were.

This way the gears of society will keep grinding and the money will keep flowing.

Our citizens will dutifully select their own personal tormentors, and fines and taxes will be levied, and the prisons will stay full, and your offshore account will reflect all this.

What’s that?  Why of course we can find a position for your son.


text © Buzz Dixon
art by Rene Gruau

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Fictoid: One Day On Wall Street


James R Bingham - Im not the poopyhead

underlying art by James R. Bingham

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Fictoid: one day at the pawn shop


as real as your orgasms

“Are they real?”

“As real as your orgasms.”

text (c) Buzz Dixon
art by Walter Baumhofer

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Fictoid: One Day In The Space Program…


one day in space program

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Fictoid: the sniper’s lament


snipers lament

the only thing
I ever felt
when I killed
someone was the
recoil of
my rifle

now I’m sitting here
with a fully loaded hand gun
ready to stick it next to my temple
and pull the trigger

how fast will that bullet fly?
will I have a chance
to feel the recoil
before the bullet
kills me?

only one way
to find out




text © Buzz Dixon

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“All Along The Watchtower” by Bob Dylan


All Along The Watchtower

All Along The Watchtower by Bob Dylan

“There must be some way out of here” said the joker to the thief
“There’s too much confusion”, I can’t get no relief
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth.

“No reason to get excited”, the thief he kindly spoke
“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late”.

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.

© Dwarf Music

art by John Rea Neill
lyrics by Bob Dylan

Dylan’s “All Along The Watchtower” is one of my favorite songs.  It sounds like the opening scene of a great, epic fantasy (indeed, writer / editor Jessica Amanda Salmonson tried years ago to turn it into a lengthy story with another writer, but her co-author’s untimely death pretty much killed any momentum that project had; still, it would have been wonderful).  Unlike most ballads, it does not complete its story; rather it leaves it open ended and ripe for interpretation.  For that reason, it is haunting.

update:  “As you allude to, I published Ron Nance’s first story ‘Watchtower‘ about the Jester and the Thief. He wrote a very few more tales of this duo, and he and I co-wrote ‘A Wine of Heart’s Desire‘ set in the world of Dylan’s characters, to be found in the Tor Books anthology Tales By Moonlight.” — Jessica Amanda Salmonson

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Fictoid: gamblers


JC Leyendecker - the devil you say cap

Well, my friend, it has been a droll evening.
But all evenings — and all games — must come to an end.

So, which shall it be?

Shall you reach for your gun?

Or shall I show you my card?

The gun?

Or the card?

The gun…?

…or the card?

Choose wisely, my friend.

We dangle on the precipice of hell.

art by JC Leyendecker
text © Buzz Dixon

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Fictoid: One Night While Robbing The Pharmacy…


Bud Parke - nurse hostage cap

underlying art by Bud Parke
text © Buzz Dixon

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Fictoid: never trust the media


James Avati - what does this say

…………underlying art by James Avati

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