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“Ma’am, if we life through this, remind me to teach you how to shoot…”
underlying art by Walter M. Baumhofer
“My darling, before I shuffle off this mortal coil, there is something I must confess: I have been unfaithful to you countless times with prostitutes, the wives of friends, even your own sister.” “I know, dear. That’s why I poisoned you.”
joke stolen from the
late great Moms Mabley
Links to some oldies but goodies
(or should that be moldies but ghoulies?)
by yrs trly…
art by Amos Sewell
“Gosh, Mr. Satan, this is my best birthday ever!”
“…and your last.”
text (c) Buzz Dixon
Two nuns, Sister Helen and Sister Mary, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania when suddenly, a tiny Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
“Oh my!” shouts Sister Mary. “What shall we do?”
“Turn the windshield wipers on.
That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen.
Sister Mary switches them on, knocking Dracula about but he clings on and continues hissing at them.
“What shall I do now?” she shouts.
“Switch on the windshield washer.
I filled it up with Holy Water,” says Sister Helen.
Sister Mary turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin but clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
“What now?” shouts Sister Mary.
“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.
“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Mary as she opens the window
and shouts, “Get the @#%& off the car!”
tip o’the paper bag to
Murray “The Unknown Comic” Langston
for this little gem
underlying art by