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Fictoid: …it’s lonely out in space…


disney mission mars cap

“…it gets awfully lonely out here…no one to talk to…if
it wasn’t for your guys at ground control I’d go insane…”

“We’ll always be here for you.”

photo from Disney mission mars
text © Buzz Dixon

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Fictoid: one day in geosynchronous earth orbit…


Pete Elson - checking the engines large cap

underlying art by Pete Elson

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Fictoid: one morning at tea…


Frank X Leyendecker I say reginald cap

“I say, Reginald, are those airships jousting over our front lawn?”


art by Frank X. Leyedencker

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Fictoid: a little late for that question…


Alex Sharpe Ross - are you really a tattoo artist

“Are you really a tattoo artist?”

“Sure, I am.  Look at the great job
I did on my cat over there…”

underlying art by Alex Sharp Ross

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Fictoid: Cinderella::Aftermath



What are you doing here?



I can see that,
my question is why?

I have no answer.

You are a princess now.

I know.

Servants can do this.

God, I know!  I know! 
Why do you think I’m here?

Don’t they clean well enough?

They clean most excellently,
giving me very little to do. 
No complaint there.

Then why — ?

I can’t stand the way they look at me.

Ah, jealousy –

No!  Not jealousy.

Contempt?  Show me the ones who –

No!  No contempt…just…they look at me,
and I know they are thinking,
“Why you?  Why you and not me?”

So they are jealous.

No.  Never jealous.  Curious.  Puzzled. 
I’m puzzled, too.  Why me?  Why…me? 
Two questions, when you actually come
to think about it.

I love you.

You are very kind to me,
but do you love me,
or do you love the idea of me? 
You knew nothing about me,
not even the fact I existed,
until that night.

I know you now.

But what do you know of me? 
You know of my cruel stepmother
and stepsisters, but thousands of
other children suffer as I did. 
Why didn’t you go save them?

If you want me to establish a charity –

No.  I mean…yes…please…a charity. 
Anything to pay back a fraction of what we owe.

“Owe”?!?!?  We owe nothing!

Really?  All this opulence,
all this pleasure, all this power
comes from someone, someone
who can ill afford it.

We are their leaders,
their protectors.

Protectors from whom? 
Others who want to collect their taxes? 
We protect them for ourselves.

Do you want to return to their level?

You have been kind…to me…and
 generous…to me.
I would be ungracious
 to not reciprocate.

Then what do you want?

I want to feel innocent again. 
I want to feel guiltless. 
I want to feel good.

And this cleaning,
it will help you?


You missed a spot.


text © Buzz Dixon
art by Edmund Dulac



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Fictoid: she wasn’t a very convincing liar


mead schaeffer geeze not again1

underlying art by Mead Schaeffer

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Fictoid: one day at the head of the class


norman rockwell - SHUT UP cap

art by Norman Rockwell
text © by Buzz Dixon

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Fictoid: the brutal truth


Frederic Dorr Steele - how long was I out cap

“…how long was I out…?”

“What makes you think
you were ever in?”

art by Frederic Dorr Steele

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Fictoid: thirty seconds before the crash…


your crash landing instructions cap

“Your crash landing
instructions, ma’am.”

“Will they help
us survive?”

“No, but they’ll keep your
whiney ass occupied until
the moment of impact.”

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Fictoid: one night at the field sobriety checkpoint


at the sobriety checkpoint

“Sir, have you been drinking?”

“No.  What makes you think that?”

“You’re eating a cigar and smoking a Slim Jim.”

“They’re healthier that way.”

“Hmm, point taken.  Have a good evening, sir.”

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